@nd_L_: If only the person that named “walkie talkies” had been in charge of naming so many more household objects.
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@WheelTod: Did you know statistically you're more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a breadknife
@TheDairylandDon: Boy. A zombie outbreak sure could get a solid foothold on a day like today, with all this tomfoolery and whatnot. Be safe out there, guys.
@INDlAN_: Adulthood is like looking both sides before crossing the street and them getting hit by an airplane.
@fuzzlime: Tweriod: That time of the month when all my tweets are moody, retain water and are about chocolate and cheesecake