@Parentpains: If opposites attract than why do women with clothes on always run away from me?
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@ericsshadow: [at my high school reunion] Hey guys, remember last year when we toilet papered Mrs. Krebb's house? "Dude that was in 1991."
@Dutch_50: Instructions in the Men's Room for hand washing. Because non-hand washers can't be bothered unless there's an opportunity to learn stuff.
@david8hughes: All you dads out there couldn't hold a candle to my dad. He's petrified of candles.