@Parentpains: If opposites attract than why do women with clothes on always run away from me?
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@jordan_stratton: Finally found a house! We couldn't afford it and it wasn't for sale, but we just murdered the owners and took it anyway. Happy Columbus Day!
@AngelaEhh: When people say 'oh, you're still single?' I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married?' I'm popular.
@trevso_electric: I don't have ADD. It's just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.