@jlock17: If our children don't learn cursive, how will they ever be able to read those inspirational tattoos people put on their ribs?
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@XplodingUnicorn: Door-to-door Christian guy: Jesus loves you. Me: Really? Just me? Him: Well, no. He loves everyone. Me: I don't have time for players.
@PJTLynch: “Very colorful, fun. I’d put it in my mouth” “A bit scary, seems sharp. Still, I’d put it in my mouth” -Baby reviews of stuff on the floor
@Reverend_Scott: *bark* "What's that Lassie?" *bark bark* "Timmy's stuck in a loveless marriage with an overly critical wife?" *bark* "Ooh, dinnertime."
@Tommytoughstuff: *Looks out the window to see it raining fire and brimstone* "Oh man my car windows are down!"