@jlock17: If our children don't learn cursive, how will they ever be able to read those inspirational tattoos people put on their ribs?
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@DadandBuried: My son can now reach the light switches so don't come over my house unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.
@DevilryFun: Just once I want to wake up to something exciting. *Wakes up next to spider crawling on pillow.
@Jeffwni: [1st date] Me: I've got crabs [date leaves] [back home looking at my fish tank] "It's all right guys, one day I'll find one who'll like you"