@FeelingMervis: If Pitbull wasn't famous he'd easily be the creepiest guy in every club he visits.
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@polyhumorous: I got my husband to marry me 51 days after we met. Today is our 20th Anniversary and I think he's still wondering what the hell happened.
@markydoodoo: [CREATING GROUNDHOGS] GOD: a rat dog ANGEL: check GOD: that whispers to white people ANGEL: what? GOD: about the weather ANGEL:
@pleatedjeans: idea: business cards that just say NO Sir can I have 5 mins of ur [card] Girl can I get ur number [card] BRO DID U STEAL MY NO CARDS [card]
@internetluke: [last supper] Jesus (to Judas): so your facebook status said you were anxious? Anything u wanted to say Judas (sweating): no not really