@hasht4g: If Pringles really wanted the fun to never stop they'd make those tube things like 5 feet long.
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@jergarl: I walked out naked one time and she's like wtf. And I'm like this is how god made me! And she's like no that's how beer and tacos made you.
@abbycohenwl: I never thought I'd meet the man of my dreams while I was out running errands in sweat pants with no make-up on. And I was right
@aveuaskew: Unreliable eye witness testimony is the reason chameleons are nature's most elusive and successful serial killers.