@Tmoney68: If really good-looking people are "eye candy" I guess that puts me somewhere around the "eye broccoli" category.
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@ToxicProbably: A guy on a scooter just yelled at me for being on my phone at a red light so I yelled at him for being on a scooter
@thenatewolf: Mechanic: you need a new carburetor Me: you can call it a buretor, I know lots about cars, I'm like you
@MatCro: Me: "Aw, your baby is cute. How old?" Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time?" Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."
@UltraPunch: It's impossible to say "mesh" without sounding like Sean Connery... Also you just tried it.