@howe007: If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about.
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@midnitesoc: "The Walking Dad," but it's just a guy walking around the house turning off lights and muttering that he's "not made of money"
@iGreenMonk: The first guy to clap was really weird "I enjoyed this so I'm going to hit my hand with my other hand to show my appreciation"
@4handfuls: Him: Well, when life hands you lemons... Narrator: Life only needed him to hold the lemons so it could punch him in the face.
@CodyJP9412: GUY SPIDER: (after sex) omg I can't wait to see my son GIRL SPIDER: *putting on bib* yeah, about that..