@jdforshort: If sexual frustration could be transferred into a usable energy source, I would be sitting on a gold mine
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: Prisoner: You inked Me: *thinking about my "I hate prisoners" back tattoo* No why
@turtledumplin: Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he's going to the clinic for a 'work related' injury.
@TragicAllyHere: You know people ask "how are you still single" to singles? It'd be funny if we started saying "how are you still married" to married people
@MableGertrude: I wonder if the earth ever looks at the 2016 election and thinks about hurling itself into the sun.