@jdforshort: If sexual frustration could be transferred into a usable energy source, I would be sitting on a gold mine
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@roostermustache: Me (in jail): hey officer these bars are made of iron, not nickel Cop: ya so what Me: so it's a nickel-less cage Cop:*macing me* son of a
@Jake_Vig: [engineer looking at blueprints] "Well, here's your problem right here. You built this thing on rock and roll."
@Blarebare: I'm seriously considering taking up falconry. Someone pisses me off? BAM! Falcon, right in the face.