@slimmy_shady: If she licks all the frosting off her face with a single 360 degree sweep of the tongue, she might be Scooby Doo.
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@kevinrowe1: Take it from me. Your wife will not like it if you say, "My twitter girls would do that"
@AristotlesNZ: Me: Are these your kids? Boss: "Yep" They're gorgeous! "Thanks" Step kids? "Nope" Adopted? "No.." .. ".." She's cheating on you.. "Get out"
@kirsthalliwell: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life???
@Book_Krazy: FITNESS COACH: Have u been reaching your target heart rate each morning *Flashback to me replacing the snooze button with an airhorn* "yes"