@Social_Mime: If someone bumps into you while you are wearing camouflage you have no one to blame but yourself.
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@kentgrossarth: Boss: Is that beer? You're not supposed to drink at work! Me: You're not supposed to cheat on your wife. Boss: You're doing a great job.
@Parker_Simpson: I wonder if ppl who design new kinds of toilet paper ever think,"Why do we ever try? ppl are gonna shit all over this new design"
@KiayaFaye: I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it's just awkward