@QuickandSisi: If someone knocks on your door, knock back from the other side. That someone will go away. It works. Trust me, I just tried it this morning.
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@mattytalks: She was a fax machine She kept her modem clean She was the best damn printer that I've ever seen
@amazymay72x: no, dont go there dont touch that no, leave it alone keep your hands off! a typical morning with my 3yo (or pissed off with my husband)
@Fred_Delicious: [everyone in the STI clinic glaring at my Pokemon shirt] "No no it means like, I want to catch all the Pokemon"
@novicefather: Autocorrect changed "killing spree" to "killing soirée" so bring your finest evening attire because murder can be classy.