@QuickandSisi: If someone knocks on your door, knock back from the other side. That someone will go away. It works. Trust me, I just tried it this morning.
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@RobDenBleyker: If we weren't able to stop Bieber Fever I seriously doubt America can stop an Ebola epidemic.
@MarlonBrandNO: [DATE] ME: I'm a literature buff HER: who do you read? ME: read? *cut to me bench pressing like 70 copies of The Great Gatsby*
@JasonLastname: Historians say teenagers in medieval times would send an average of 180 tiny scrolls by raven per day
@FXTVaddict: Me: I asked the waitress for diet Coke and she thought I said rum and Coke. Boss: 5 times? Me: Yeah I guess. B: ..... M: HR again?