@GianDoh: If someone says "With all due respect," what follows is the verbal equivalent of a captive chimp hurling feces at you.
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@Black__Elvis: I'm romantic so I treat my girlfriend to a candlelight dinner every night, plus she's getting fat and candlelight has like zero calories.
@lizetagge: The closest I've been to murder is holding my choco-chip cookie under the milk until the bubbles stop...
@Tmoney68: If I could be any animal I'd pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
@Parker_Simpson: Hey guys keep up the "Bush did 9/11" tweets I think the pressure is really grinding his gears