@brucepoontip: If someone sees you accidentally bite into plastic fruit, commit. don’t show weakness. eat all of it
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@Girl_Censored: I'm not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I'm going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard...
@bingowings14: I haven't said a single truthful thing on here since I became the King of Sweden.
@KattsDogma: I started a book club. A coloring book club. There's a line to get in. We're never on the same page. Nothing's black & white. We're well red
@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to "Brandi from the club" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM