@Maxine12339: If someone stands you up and doesn't call, stay positive. They could be dead.
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@RyanAndrewMitch: Never go to a place that has burgers, sushi, chicken wings and donuts on one menu. Never.
@tastefactory: [killer enters home in middle of night] ME: Who goes there? KILLER: Haha ME: What KILLER: Who still says "Who goes there" ME: Ok laugh it up
@abbycohenwl: Friend: Are you growing your hair out? Me: I have no idea. Honestly, I never thought I'd live this long