@birbigs: If someone writes you a long email that ends with "Thoughts?" just reply "Nope."
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@Bob_Heller: Lions do NOT share. If you try to give them half a hoagie, they will take it, plus your half, plus your arm, plus I am inside a lion.
@novicefather: My neighbor and I are really close. We call each other things like bro, man, dude, boss... We don't know each other's name.
@chrissyteigen: I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I'm murdered because I don't want him to remarry #truelove #tips