@birbigs: If someone writes you a long email that ends with "Thoughts?" just reply "Nope."
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@_tomcrowley: it's been 12 years since Shrek came out, I still can't get over the fact that Donkey had sex with a dragon..
@NicestHippo: "So did you get lucky last night?" You better believe it! [flashback to me making all green lights omw home after girl refused to kiss me]
@TheCiscoKidder: My 3 year old reported seeing a spider-cricket and I couldn't find it so we're outside watching the house burn.
@davedittell: yeah, we r a non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let him name us. I'm Woof, this is my husband Woof, & these r Woof & Woof