@SnackMomSyndrom: If something happened to me today, my legacy would be how much my kids say "like"
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@RoosterMustache: I hate when my phone corrects "hood morning" to good morning. Maybe I meant hood morning. Maybe some thug shit has happened today.
@maisonwithapen: *stands near cute dude in store* ME [pretending to be on my phone]: PLEASE doctor, when will I be cured of my no gag reflex problem *winks*
@StarWarsProblms: Yoda: Clouded, your future is. Anakin: Are you smoking pot again? Yoda: Six cheeseburgers, I want.
@CulturedRuffian: *at the gym* Trainor: Have a donut. Me: Wow! Sure! T: Here's some pizza. M: What kind of trainer are you? T: I'm a Megan Trainor.