@SnackMomSyndrom: If something happened to me today, my legacy would be how much my kids say "like"
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@TheTalkingPipe: Some people wouldn't understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
@austen_420: Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time
@Book_Krazy: Boss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means? Me: That it's only Wednesday
@Mindless4Miles: I just want to be rich enough one day to name my kid after an Australian mammal or something found in my spice rack.