@jonnysun: if somone acidentaly walks in while ur in the bathroom, do not react at all. this avoids embarasment & makes them wonder if they are a ghost
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@geekysteven: "Why didn't any of you go back and kill Hitler?" TIME TRAVELER: We prioritized stopping Zortho the Endless Scourge in 1935. "Who?" TT: Bingo
@Fred_Delicious: [Getting waterboarded] "Um, sir the subject isn't responding to interrogation, he's just getting bigger" [Me, a sponge] "MwahahaHAHAHAA"
@Jay_FrickinLynn: Britney is stranded on an island Britney is starving Britney forms tool out of rocks and sticks Britney sees a fish Britney Spears
@TheTweetOfGod: "Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?" - Mary Magdalene.