@bmarked21: If stealing office supplies were an Olympic sport, they'd test me for steroids.
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@pleatedjeans: Forget a beach bod I want a bat's bod give me giant fangs and the long, leathery wings I need to rule the night
@haleysfalling: I've decided that I'm going to start texting people back. That's it. That's the joke.
@Brentweets: Speed 3: Waitress has to keep talking about the day's specials or the entire restaurant explodes.