@bmarked21: If stealing office supplies were an Olympic sport, they'd test me for steroids.
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@david8hughes: Me: ugh. The radio these days is full of bad news. Burglary over there, stabbing over here. Just turn it off please Arresting officer: no
@GraceSpelman: My debit card got stolen at the gym which is fine because i will still continue to go so that I can train to fight the person who stole it
@HatfieldAnne: Whom the gods would destroy, they first give the WORST leg cramp and you can’t even get up fast because the cat is on you.
@jonnysun: im more than just a birth year and a death year so my tombstone will instead be engraved with a handful of random years i remember enjoying