@bmarked21: If stealing office supplies were an Olympic sport, they'd test me for steroids.
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@Shanehasabeard: There's a lady at work named Lillian Llewellyn who carries a briefcase and I like to imagine it falling open and spilling a bunch of L's
@dariatbh: I hope all the friends I've made in the bathroom at 1am are still SO pretty and everything worked out with that boy they were drunk texting
@Reverend_Scott: Sometimes I ask myself, what would Aquaman do? So I sit in the bathtub and cry about how useless I am.