@bmarked21: If stealing office supplies were an Olympic sport, they'd test me for steroids.
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@HysteriaBarbie: I like to put my passengers as ease by pointing out where all the airbags are. Ending the safety message with "Just in case I crash again"
@reallyshitpost: DOCTOR: I have bad news MAN WHO WOKE UP FROM 5 YR COMA: I don't mind as long as I get to see my favorite gorilla from the Cincinnati zoo
@MaraWritesStuff: "Your former crush likes this thing" "Your former crush likes this thing" "Your former crush likes this thing" -Facebook