@Matt_The_1st: If stray cats are free, why is Chinese food so expensive?
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@WheelTod: My wife urged me to be more experimental in the bedroom, but I guess she wasn't expecting I'd be dissecting so many white mice.
@kayleighpuget: "Am I the only one who-?" There are over 7 billion people on earth. No. No you're not the only one.
@ItsDanSheehan: When a zoo animal dies they always call it "beloved" or a "crowd favorite" like there's some animal named "Jimmy the zebra everyone hates"