@Matt_The_1st: If stray cats are free, why is Chinese food so expensive?
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@BadJordon: [SPEED DATING] HER: Hi, is this seat free? ME: By all means. HER: *drags chair across room ME: WTF? HER: *laughing, sits with another couple
@AnkCoupleTO: I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards
@ElliotHetherton: Doctor: Any food allergies? Patient: Sometimes dairy products disagree with me Carton of milk: That's not true
@LoveNLunchmeat: My debate style is more like Teddy Roosevelt. I carry a big stick in one hand, a sword in the other, and wait for you to agree.