@roggyie: If Tetris has taught me anything it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
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@WheelTod: [Outside ER] Cop: “Sir, can you describe the vehicle that struck you?” Me: “Absolutely. It was some kind of horseless carriage. A roaring metallic dragon with wheels instead of legs, with bright skin shimmering in the sunlight, passing foul vapors out its rear.”
@bobinhiding: When the wife says, "Would you rather spend time with your imaginary friends than with me?" "Yeah, kind of." Is not the right answer.
@panmidwest: THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he speaks in typos ME: EVERYTHING IS JUST FIND BRENDA! THERAPIST: ok maybe we should take 5 ME: food idea