@JennyJohnsonHi5: If the Discovery Channel's new show 'Naked And Afraid' isn't about Mormon honeymoons, I'm not interested.
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@HatfieldAnne: First 20 minutes driving through farm country: "Isn't this pretty?" Next 3 hours: *can't remember a life before corn*
@primawesome: Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. We think we might be in love with your call. We made your call a mix tape.
@Brampersandon_: [leaving a party] GF (holding 2 identical jackets): which one is yours ME: whichever one has a pancake in the pocket