@AristotlesNZ: If the fate of the world ever depended on me opening a new plastic grocery or produce bag in under a minute, we'd all be dead.
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@Milariou: I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
@That_Damn_Duck: *Watching YouTube videos* Boss: What are you watching? Me: .... Boss: ... Me: Church? Boss: That's a dog on a unicycle. Me: Praise The Lord!
@Matt_The_1st: Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I just couldn't find a response that would keep you from sending another
@lovemydogduck: Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger & I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner.