@mdowd: If the FBI want to get into an iPhone w/o users permission, they should ask someone who's done it before, like U2
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@Rollinintheseat: *Goes to bakery to try wedding cake samples* Baker: "When is your wedding?" Me: *with mouthful of cake* "What wedding?"
@TheDairylandDon: Where do avocados come from? Uh, well, when a crocodile loves a pear very much...
@LoveNLunchmeat: STOP WHINING KIDS! If mommy wants to listen to a bunch of people whining for no reason, she'll log into twitter.
@bourgeoisalien: I misspelled "marriage" and Auto Correct changed it to "mirage." What do you know that I don't, Auto Correct?