@WickedCynic: If the guy behind me stands any closer I'm going to go in for a hug.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@causticbob: I was feeling very depressed the other week. I went to my psychiatrist and told him I was suicidal. He asked me to pay in advance.
@fluffysuse: My ex just asked if I want to go on holiday with him and my ex mother-in-law and now I don't need Twitter because I will never stop laughing
@calamitydaisy: I feel a burst of superiority when I trick a fly into flying out of my car window.