@Blunt_Sarcastic: If the inventor of the iPhone battery ever ends up on life support in a hospital, I hope the back up power source is an iPhone battery.
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@HomeProbably: If someone overtakes me when I'm walking, I match their speed so it looks like I've got friends.
@daemonic3: Her: *puts cherry stem in mouth *pulls it out with a knot *winks Him: *puts earbuds in pocket *pulls it out with 5 knots *doesn't get laid
@marebytes: Facebook tells me today is "National Winnie the Pooh Day" ... I hope they're ok with me just wearing a red t-shirt & no pants to the office
@MarfSalvador: Man: I'd like to buy a fur coat please Clerk: Sorry sir, this is a pet store Man: I'd like to buy 200 gerbils please