@Blunt_Sarcastic: If the inventor of the iPhone battery ever ends up on life support in a hospital, I hope the back up power source is an iPhone battery.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@laureneoneal: Why doesn't anyone invite copyeditors to parties when we're such cool people out with whom to hang?
@Brampersandon_: WIFE: Did you buy eggs? ME: Even better. I bought a goat. W: How is that better? M: *stares confusedly for a full minute* How is it not?
@KeetPotato: me: [pretends to throw ball for my GF's dog and laughs] GF: "you'll regret that one day" me: "why?" GF: "my dog holds grudges" me: "don't be stupid" [one year later] priest: "does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?" from the back: "WOOF"
@OtherDanOBrien: *hot girl puts a cherry stem in her mouth* *twists it around with her tongue* *pulls it out* *it spells "I LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND"*