@Parentpains: If the liquor store didn't want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
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@gerryhallcomedy: There's no such thing as "elevator etiquette" buddy. Just enjoy your back scratch.
@ElleOhHell: "The new iPhone 6 is bigger!" Meh. "It has more sensors!" Pfft. "You can block group texts." I WOULD LIKE ONE THOUSAND OF YOUR IPHONE
@TheBoydP: Top Four Signs of Job Security: 4. Promotions and raises 3. Specialized skills 2. Top producer 1. Compromising photos of the boss
@J_Dazzle76: If I ever go missing and theres a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms.