@awordforaword: If the radius of a pizza is Z and the thickness is A, then the volume of pizza is PI x Z x Z x A. #asianshowingoff
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@FatherWithTwins: Parenting is great if you want to relive every moment from your childhood when your parents got mad at you - from your parents' perspective.
@weinerdog4life: If everyone would stop screaming, I'm sure we'd all agree I'm not supposed to be in this women's restroom.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Comcast Cable acquiring Time Warner Cable is a lot like your proctologist acquiring a bigger finger.
@bigmacher: Me: "Hey towel, you're looking good. What u doing later?" Wife: That's not what I meant by pick up my towel. Just hand it to me, idiot.