@mattselman: If the United States ever collapses, the upside is that we can finally use the blue starry part of American flags to make wizard hats.
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@iamburtjarvis: [in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. righty-tighty, lefty-loosey her: what? me: what?
@Marcmywords2: You can tell a lot about a person by what they swallow first when a cop pulls um over.
@Jojo_51213: Freedom of expression is great... I can make a kissy face, smiley face or a frowny face, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it
@FishySnowborder: I like my women with curves. Those skinny ones are alway mad cause they're hungry.