@BenBrouckaert: If there isn't a fireworks company whose slogan is "our business is booming," that seems like a real missed opportunity.
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@_Water_Baby: When you are having a new mattress installed, remember to hide your "toys" BEFORE the movers arrive.
@Home_Halfway: ME: Hey congrats, I hear you're pregnant CLIENT: Yes, thank you! ME: *trying to think of a good power move* Many species eat their young
@ddsmidt: ...sees you when you’re sleeping, knows when you’re awake, knows if you’ve been bad or good... Me: Omg, this song is about my phone.