@WoodyLuvsCoffee: If there's a "Mr." in front of your cat's name you're going to die alone.
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@Coepacetic: At the disco last night. They played twist. I did the twist. They played jump. I jumped. They played come on Eileen. I got kicked out.
@TheBoydP: Me: Show me a pan that didn't get clean the first time and I will show you a pan that needs to soak.. Wife: STOP TWEETING AND WASH THE PAN!
@copymama: Hey, sexy. Wanna merge our DNA and make mini versions of ourselves who will never give us a moment’s peace and destroy all our stuff?