@realHamOnWry: If there's a sock on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with the other one.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@simoncholland: [at preschool open house hearing nut allergy policy] *raises hand* What if I draw a peanut on her napkin? Wife: Please go wait in the car
@sickipediabot: "If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open." said the boss at my new job. "Why do you need a door then?" I asked him.
@magsaidwhat: In the new version of Star Wars, Harrison Ford slowly flies the Millenium Falcon in the left lane with the turn signal on
@jjhartinger: I'm curious about the first person who saw an egg drop out of a chicken & said, "I'm going to eat that."