@littlekitnerboy: If there's one thing that Twitter has taught me its that all the weird kids in school eventually find each other.
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@jctwritesstuff: Me: I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Him: Ma'am, for the last time, we don't have a limit on how much liquor you can buy.
@llvvzz: You're psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you.
@Barknado69: Amoeba: dad, how was I made? Amoeba Dad: well son, when a man loves himself very much