@WoodyLuvsCoffee: If these walls could talk I bet it would be gibberish cause these walls are plastered.
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@LittleHarmonica: Men always say they like strong, smart women until you argue with them. And then they're all like: You talk too much....and I want my Mommy.
@ElleOhHell: *discovering flying dinosaur* PALEONTOLOGIST: We'll call it pterodactyl, for "wing fingers" ME: *crumples up note that says skynosaur*
@flashember: Meow meow meow [Wife comes home early] MEOW! *cats scramble to untie me from the torture rack* THELMA I TOLD YOU THE CATS HATE ME I TOLD YOU
@LostCatDog: I peed in an ocean, but I'm not going to tell you which one - you're going to have to take your chances.