@WoodyLuvsCoffee: If these walls could talk I bet it would be gibberish cause these walls are plastered.
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@jackiembouvier: Substitute teaching 1st graders was not at all the Dead Poets Society experience I was hoping it would be.
@YouWillGo2Hell: Every time you do a shot of tequila, an angel hi-fives a fairy and they agree to meet later to kick you in the head while you're sleeping.
@JohnLyonTweets: My rum-raisin cake is gluten free. It's also raisin free. And cake free. OK it's just rum.