@khook32: If this cat doesn't stop trying to lick my plate, we're having Chinese for dinner tomorrow.
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@ojedge: [Blackstreet Bakery] Me: [watching the baker kneading dough] "I love the way you work it" Baker: "No diggity?" Me: "Baguette up."
@LurkAtHomeMom: *checks WebMD* Holy crap, I need an ambulance! *checks insurance deductible* Nevermind, I'll just take a vitamin or something.
@pissrifle: GREETINGS MORTAL, YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUE- "what's the deal with airline food?" GODDAMNIT JERRY HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS CRYSTAL