@khook32: If this cat doesn't stop trying to lick my plate, we're having Chinese for dinner tomorrow.
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@nachosarah: hey pregnant lady slowly crossing the street on a green light it's a baby not a forcefield
@CornOnTheGoblin: me: [performing autopsy] so I've been practicing my ventriloquism assistant: now's not the time corpse: aw come on
@LiftHeavyAndRun: @funTweeters you guys are my favorite thing about Twitter. I suggest we get pant less and hug this out like men.
@BriarSlyMadness: Believing that you are popular or "famous" on twitter... ...is like believing you are rich because you won a game of Monopoly.