@fuzzlime: If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [bar trivia night] and remember no using your phones unless it's an emergency me: [five minutes later] hello 911? are butterflies insects?
@gman_kam: When black guys say "ya feel me?", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.
@Bluestmoon_: *Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds "extremely organized" to resume.