@fuzzlime: If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
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@Gooooats: My kitten is probably the most playful creature on the planet, but it's less cute when you realize it's all just bird murder practice.
@Reverend_Scott: [Wonder Woman shows up] Superman: Is she with you? Batman: I thought she was with you? Wonder Woman: Bruce you literally emailed me today
@hazelmotes1: I read an article about a stolen dog being reunited with its owner and it made me feel good to think maybe someone will steal my dog one day
@ClichedOut: Exec 1: We gotta improve our company image. E2: Hey, let's call customers at home. E1: At dinner, on Sunday. E2: But be pushy. E1: Perfect.