@beefman138: If Twitter allowed us to attach a signature to each Tweet, mine would be : "He said, stupidly."
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@MarieColette: Get a hair cut, run away without paying. They can't chase you because they're holding scissors. The perfect crime.
@wesleybordelon: Standing in the boys clothes section at Kohls waiting for my wife. I just realized I look creepy. Better move to the little girls section.