@RobertJrDowney: If Twitter was invented by a woman, The character limit would be 10,000 characters.
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@CoolCamel69: *pulls home cooked meal out of oven* *family awkwardly stares at me* Yup, this is definitely not my house.
@DamienFahey: I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, "We legally had to do this."
@Izzybcrazy: 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad
@ArfMeasures: ALLIGATOR: I'm gonna eat you ME: But we could be friends. You could be my palligator A: Ok for that I'm gonna somehow try to eat you twice