@RobertJrDowney: If Twitter was invented by a woman, The character limit would be 10,000 characters.
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@TheSweetestD_: Reasons to jump: 1. Trampoline 2. Skydiving 3. Bungee jumping 4. Kris Kross made you
@MissNaughty1801: Neighbour: if your son doesn't stop playing drums right now I'll lose my mind!! Me: too late...he's stopped half an hour ago
@BitchyJasmine: Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? His body decomposed.
@JediGigi: He said I won his heart and I was all "Ugh can I just win like $20? How about a sweater from Sears? A pencil? I could really use a pencil."