@ch000ch: if u hear ur roommate using ur beard trimmer in the bathroom but they come out and look exactly the same u should buy a new beard trimmer
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@EJGomez: one time this girl pulled me close & said "I'm the girl your mom warned you about" & I said "so you chose bulbasaur as your starter pokemon"
@AnOrangeSNES: To make a long story short: Hamlet: Everyone dies Macbeth: Everyone dies Titanic: Everyone dies Twilight: You want to die
@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
@Amburglar_: "Ok J Lo, we have a movie for you." "Is the male lead obsessed with me?" "Yes." "I'll do it."