Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@TheDreamGhoul: if u think ur house is haunted get a cat. whooshing sound? it's the cat. hear footsteps? def the cat. unseen being devouring your soul? cat.

if u think ur house is haunted get a cat. whooshing sound? it’s the cat. hear footsteps? def the cat. unseen being devouring your soul? cat.
142 comments

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

@yaboydil: Some say global warming is caused by an increase in greenhouse gases, but I know that's a cover up for the truth: too many hot local singles

53

@PlagueLovers: My password is "weak?" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad.

1

@moose_chocolate: Fox has cancelled American Idol. From Now on, if I want to listen to bad music, I'll have to listen to Pitbull just like everyone else.

1

@DirtMcTurd: A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action... And opened another register

103

@rob5373: I choked on a carrot earlier and all I could think of is that a donut wouldn't have done that to me.

1
↑