@TheDreamGhoul: if u think ur house is haunted get a cat. whooshing sound? it's the cat. hear footsteps? def the cat. unseen being devouring your soul? cat.
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@Terdoh: Me: And what do you do if I tell you I'm having a heart attack? Siri: I clear your browser history. Me: That's right darling.
@SteveSuckington: DAUGHTER: why did you name me Paris? ME: You were conceived on our honeymoon in Paris SON: OMG!! ME: (to son) what's wrong 97FordF150?
@jordan_stratton: Nice try, horror movies, but the scariest thing I've ever seen is still a 4-year-old holding a sharpie without the cap.