@Parker_Simpson: If ur a guy riding on a motorcycle with another guy, it's best to sit facing each other. 1 man mounted behind another that just looks bad
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@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: Are you seeing anyone? Me: Unfortunately. CW: Then why are you dating her? Me: No, I meant you're standing in front of me.
@slaughthie: I got called "vein" and I'm just like, k not the most vital component of the circulatory system but still essential so thank you
@jonnysun: COP 1: whys there a dead scuba diver in the forest?? COP 2: easy…he was in the water they drop on forest fires WEIRD SERIAL KILLER: no no NO