@markleggett: If vampires like the taste of blood so much they should floss.
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@IvyelleWright: Him: "I killed the spider for you. He suffered." Me: ( slowly turns around in swivel chair) "Splendid."
@KalvinMacleod: HER: my dad hates puns but loves food ME: got it HER: dad, this my date ME: hey papaya yam glad to meat u HIM: *shakes then crushes my hand*
@Loli_Sug: Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone w/ out asking first
@kwirkyKerri: I don't have a pet so I decided to adopt the spider living in the corner of my kitchen. Her name is Monique. I hope she isn't knocked up.