@markleggett: If vampires like the taste of blood so much they should floss.
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@DanMentos: "my dad could beat up your dad" we're brothers you idiot *cut to dad stepping on rake, knocking himself out*
@hazelmotes1: I can't wait to find out what new undeleteable apps that I don't want will be on the new iPhone.
@thatcarlygirl: [cashier training, day 1] "Be sure to comment on everything a customer buys. They love that."
@theshamingofjay: How many times do I have to tell you this Mom? I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.