@badbanana: If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
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@Schmoodles: I call my bedroom 'The place where the magic happens' because one night a guy locked me in a box and tried to saw me in half.
@Dawn_M_: Remember, your neighbours aren't going to be attacked by killer bees on their own. You have to want it. You need to make it happen.
@KentWGraham: ME: We live in an uncaring universe void of meaning and purpose. WIFE: I understand, but you’re still folding all this laundry.
@Vodkantots: Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma'am? Me: No, I'm just dizzy b/c I'm having a heavy flow day. It's really clotty and... Cop: You're free to go.