@Underchilde: If we’re talking and I suddenly look off into the distance at a copse of trees that means I’m thinking of burying you there.
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@Tmoney68: Research shows vacuum cleaners can cause hearing loss. "You should absolutely get rid of that monster," said one furry, panting scientist.
@skylerhanrath: Mike: Mom! We're out of burrito paper! Mom: Dammit Mike, they're tortillas. You're twenty six.
@torrami: My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus