@PortRooster: If women had to be assembled, a lot of us would probably just play with the box...
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@david8hughes: [in the ambulance] Paramedic: what's your blood type? Me: whatever. I'm not fussy
@robdelaney: My neighbor just walked by carrying some pots for planting & I said "Looks like you won the pottery lottery!" Now everyone is mad at me.
@BamDebikins: Yes, mother, I have gained weight. No, it was not appropriate to point it out by pinching my muffin top in front of thirty people.
@KeetPotato: oh, so now star wars is the best thing you've ever seen, is it? "yes, and?" so you've forgotten about the time we saw a snake wearing a hat?