@gwatts77: If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to
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@iwearaonesie: mom: Why are your eyes red? Are you high!? [flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" in the car on the way over] me: Yes
@Not_From_Troy: My ambition is to be the last man on earth so that I can find out if all those girls were telling the truth.
@hollyberryness: The early bird gets the worm but the early worm gets eaten, so... I choose sleep.
@autocorrects: You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi, and the ketchup to my icecream. My point is, you're worthless.