@gwatts77: If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to
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@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.
@R_A_Dadass: Some parents sing the Clean Up song, but I just yell "I'm getting garbage bags you better hope you can pick up your toys faster than I can!"
@dorsalstream: DEMON: How much longer are we going to let him do that? SATAN: [rubbing the bridge of his nose] Just ... just give him a minute ME: [still pushing on the gates to Hell that are clearly labeled Pull]
@brentcetera: SO AFTER I CAUGHT HER CHEATING ON ME I WANTED TO JUMP OUT OF A PLANE AND DIE. ANYWAY MY NAME’S TOM AND I’LL BE YOUR TANDEM PARACHUTE PARTNER