@markleggett: If you accept small grammatical errors, decent society collapses and then everyone starts marrying dogs. That's what happened to Australia.
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@ramenfuneral: "how about an animal that looks like a cross between a horse and a barcode" - creator of zebras
@SimplyEffortful: My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked dinner. Me: ooo!! Can we get one?
@AmnesiaRose: I wish I had the confidence to just randomly sit on people and start bathing myself like my cat does.
@shutupmikeginn: I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, 'change color and escape in a cloud of ink'