@pakalupapito: If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.
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@DanielRCarrillo: Raid™: For when you don't want to kill ants, but want to make them late for something.
@OutOfLeftField_: Friend: Did you know that a butterfly only lives for 2 days? Me: I think that's a myth. Friend: No it's definitely a butterfly.
@iLikeCatShirts: Vanilla Ice: if there was a problem, yo I'll solve it... [Guy from back of concert]: why did my dad leave?
@shahrouzt: My dad recently fell for one of those Nigerian prince scam emails. I feel bad for him but I really needed the money.