@pakalupapito: If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.
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@KevinFarzad: Hmm ok Trump may have said another horrible thing but let’s not forget Hillary once texted a friend “Omw!” while she was still in the shower
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: The kids opened the "private" drawer in my nightstand. Me: THE drawer? Wife: Yeah. Great. There go our Oreos.
@sweb74: Studies found that 1 in 4 men are gay, meaning someone in my close group of friends is gay. I hope its Dave, he's really cute...
@TheRolo: *Texts* Can I come over bae? I need you. <3 *Gets reply text* DUDE, STOP CALLING ME THAT. I'M YOUR DEALER NOT YOUR BAE. BRING CA$H!