@Brentweets: If you are really good at comedy you can make $250 writing for a multimillionaire.
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@simoncholland: If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
@panmidwest: MOM: turn the volume down on your headphones or you'll go deaf! ME: that is sound advice
@joeljeffrey: I texted my girlfriend "goodnight, love you" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings.