@TheWeirdWorld: If you attempt to rob a bank you won’t have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years whether you are successful or not.
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@SteveSuckington: Some people call me space cowboy. Some call me gangster of love. This one guy calls me Maurice. He sucks at giving nicknames.
@aguycalledEddie: Me: Okay... Time for bed. Brain: Cool. Me: Brain: Me: Brain: If you had a pterodactyl, would you name him Terry... or Perry??
@LosLos__: Cleaning a house while toddlers are in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
@BruceForce: Guys, I'm officially having sex tonight so please don't disturb me between 9.30 and 9.31