@JoroPotential: If you broke up with your gf who works at a salad bar you can use the line "lettuce romaine friends" at a low cost of my student loans.
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@13spencer: [Having a problem with my iPhone] Me: *texting myself* Test Me: *replies* I have a girlfriend
@junejuly12: Me: My Amazon order arrived! Him: What did you get? Me: *scratches behind dragon's ears* Nothing important. Him: New happy pills? Me: Maybe.